Compass

The lesson of the airline instructions is one I need to keep relearning: always put your own oxygen mask on before you attempt to aid others with theirs. If you're particularly prone to following wherever your heart leads, it's far too easy to forget that you're just as worthy of care as the people you love and serve.

And, as my friend and fellow blogger Angela pointed out, sometimes it's necessary to lead your heart instead of following it.

That's what I've been trying to do. I'm focusing on all the positive things in my life: my kids, my job, and my health, to name a few. I'm excited about the Tiny Home exhibition next week. I went to an open blues jam after months of promising a friend I'd come check it out. I joined a women's wellness group. I went back to church.

Following the service, as coincidence would have it, I bumped into a former Tent City volunteer who was there with her son. We had a decidedly pleasant conversation; I had some of the Tiny Home flyers on me, and she expressed a lot of enthusiasm about it.

Then, she asked the whereabouts of some former Tent City residents.

And not surprisingly, even as I answered her to the best of my ability, the pain started to resurface. I smiled and carried on our discourse as the ache in my heart took hold.

I know it's all part of the process. I've experienced loss before; I've grieved before. This is not new to me. And I knew, after only a few months after I first set foot on my sojourn, how the story would end. I said to myself, it doesn't matter. I can handle it. I know I'm meant to be here. Bring it on.

Despite those fleeting moments of sadness, I don't regret it one bit.

Experiencing loss and pain in life is inevitable. But how we handle it - how we use it to make us stronger as individuals, more closely aligned with Truth, and more connected to one another - is what matters.

Whenever I feel the darkness creep in, I don't fight it. I embrace it. I experience it. I let it speak. But then, I release it, and I refocus. Because one of the dangers of following your heart is that sometimes it would rather entertain the comfort of the familiar - even if the familiar is painful - than endure the challenge of the unknown.

Whatever lies ahead, I am fully prepared to face it with strength, courage, grace, and hope. I pray that those whose paths have crossed with mine are able to do the same.

Today, that is the direction in which I will lead my heart.